6 Ways to Motivate Your Child For Good
Another effective strategy for getting children to turn a bad habit around: Show empathy by asking how you can help. When her daughter was in first grade, Dr. Kennedy-Moore says she fell into a familiar after- school routine: Kennedy-Moore asked her daughter if she could think of a solution, she suggested a snack in the car on the way home from school. Giving your kids feedback during these conversations about the way they're handling their responsibilities can also motivate.
Rather than dangling a trip to the park as a reward for doing homework , try catching your child on a day when she's finished it at a decent hour.
How to Motivate your Child - Tips for Unmotivated Children
As you head out to the park, point out that the natural consequence of getting her homework done early allowed time for fun later. Most young kids actually enjoy select chores if you can relax your standards about how well and how quickly they get done. And if there are certain jobs your kids love, make sure that they get those jobs. Sandra Tyler, of Setauket, New York, has a son who likes to play at being a waiter, so it's a win-win for her family that his chores include clearing the table and doing the dishes.
As for the jobs your kids dislike, using a little creativity can make them more appealing: Use a puppet to ask your child to please clean up her shoes, or challenge her to race Daddy to bed. Offer a choice where possible, even a limited one such as brushing teeth before bathtime or after; this gives kids a feeling of autonomy, an important component of tapping into internal motivation. Heavy-handed efforts to control children sometimes lead to unnecessary power struggles that end in words like You can't make me! Oh yes I can! None of us likes to feel controlled, especially little kids.
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Children like to believe that what they are doing was their choice rather than an obligation. When he refuses this impossible request, she tells the audience, "Look how stubborn he is! I guess I need to be more firm with him. Rewards and punishments are irrelevant if the child can't do what we want him to do.
Rather, think about the time your child learned to write her name, or play a song on the piano, and how pleased she was with herself and how you could barely tear her away from the new activity. When I hear about a kid fighting homework I wonder if there is a skills gap or a learning issue that is making this kid feel like it's impossible to do what we've asked. If more answers are needed, talk to her teacher, pediatrician, or a counselor. Let's say your child woke up when the alarm went off and got ready for school on his own. Or he stayed in bed all night rather than waking you at 3 a.
Be sure to let him know how much you appreciate his efforts and don't forget to add how nice it was to ride with him to school without feeling rushed, or how well-rested you feel from that uninterrupted night's sleep. If you want your kids to stop fighting so much with their siblings , rather than offering them candy or other rewards to "be good," try to resolve your conflicts with your spouse in a loving and admirable way. To help them remember their manners , make sure you say "please" and "thank you" to them too. And when you're on the phone and your child wants your attention, don't tell her "just a sec" if it's going to be more like 20 minutes.
Mogel, doing so teaches your children that you're going to put them off for as long as you can get away with and that you don't keep your word. Playing loosey-goosey with time also means that your kids probably will too, so don't be surprised when you tell them it's time to leave a party or clear the table, and they say "just a sec" and don't mean it either. Saying what you mean, and meaning what you say, can be highly motivating indeed. The key to motivating kids is different than what's commonly thought, reports journalist Paul Tough in his book How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character.
We asked him to explain. Until recently, researchers believed that the leading factor in a child's success was cognitive skills, the kind of intelligence that gets measured on IQ tests, including the abilities to recognize letters and words. But in my visits with psychologists, doctors, and economists around the country, I learned they've identified more important qualities that lead to success: Having a strong relationship with your child may be even more important than we've thought. Studies show that children with a secure attachment to their parents -- even 3- and 4-year-olds -- have greater resiliency and are more self-reliant.
It's also important to remember that character strengths like curiosity and self-control can be taught. They don't appear magically as a result of good genes. Instead, work towards inspiring your child. How do you do that? Be an inspiring person. Ask yourself if your behaviors are inspiring or controlling. Think about someone in your own life who is inspiring to you, and work towards that goal.
Let your child make his own choices—and face the consequences. Let your child make his own choices. If the consequence of not doing his homework is that the computer is taken away, put the need to get that computer time back in his hands. That will be a motivation for him in the right direction without you telling him what to do, how to do it, and lecturing him on why he should care. What are my values and principles? Step far enough away to see your child as a separate person.
Then observe what you see. Talk to him to find the answers to the questions above. And then listen—not to what you want the answers to be, but to what your child is saying. Just listen to him. Respect his answers, even if you disagree.
Why does a child have no motivation?
Choose which door you want to enter. Door number one is for the parent who wants to get their kids motivated and do the right thing in life: Get up, go to school, get their work done, be successful. Door number two is for parents who want their kids to be self-motivated to do those things. To not only do the right thing but to want to do the right things. Which door would you enter? When you do this, you may actually contribute to the underachieving by creating more resistance. Look at it this way.
10 Ways to Motivate Your Child
But when you get farther away, you actually see yourself more clearly. Do the same thing with your child. Our responsibility is to help our kids do that, not to do it for them. We need to stay out of their way enough so they can figure out who they are, what they think and where their own interests lie. You must log in to leave a comment.
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