Why hadn't I screamed, hit him, hurt him?
- ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥Serenity Reigns♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.
- From Victim to Victor: A Personal Healing Journey by Grace Gayle.
The very questions that the policemen asked me when I reported the aggression. Now I realize that the way I handled the situation although it didn't please the policemen was my way of resolving this. I shouldn't feel guilty since, in the end, it worked. When policemen are placed in difficult situations, they get to choose how they react.
I had to do the same. The next step is forgiveness— forgiving the person who hurt you or accepting the fact that nature acts up sometimes and people get stuck in the middle of it. In some instances, people just have to accept that accidents happen; there isn't always someone to blame or lash out at. It doesn't mean forgetting how they hurt you or giving that person room to hurt you again.
Forgiving someone means making peace with what happened. It means acknowledging your wound, giving yourself permission to feel the pain, and recognizing why that pain no longer serves you. It means letting go of the hurt and resentment so that you can heal and move on. In my case, forgiving my aggressor was easier than letting go of my feelings of guilt. Even during the aggression, I felt that this boy was not well. It was clear to me that he was acting this way because he felt alone and unloved.
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He decided that he was going to fill his need for contact and love even if it was in an inappropriate way; his need was just too strong. I'm not saying he was right to do what he did; I'm just saying that I understand and can forgive him. But forgiving doesn't mean forgetting.
I believe that surviving a traumatic event changes you forever. You will not react to life the same way that you would have reacted before having lived through this. I am more careful now of where I walk when I'm alone, and much less relaxed when being followed by someone. Sometimes a situation can trigger me and transport me right back to that very moment to relive the whole thing yet again. Usually this happens when someone playfully restrains me with his hands to tickle me, touch me, or kiss me.
I will never be the naive and carefree girl that I was before my attack. I have my scars. They are not physical but psychological, yet they are very real. However, I have learned not to let this event define me. I have decided that this is but one event among so many others good and bad that have helped shape me into the woman that I am today. I can live, I can smile, I can laugh. I can walk, I can run, I can soar.
From Victim to Victor: A Personal Healing Journey
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Grace may be reached through her website: Mass Market Paperback , pages.
To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up. To ask other readers questions about From Victim to Victor , please sign up. Be the first to ask a question about From Victim to Victor. Lists with This Book. This book is not yet featured on Listopia. Aug 07, Eric Wright rated it liked it Shelves: Grace Gayle describes in transparent detail five years of agony during which the abuse and hurt she suffered as a child and as a teen surfaced in scorching detail.
This came to the surface after a wearying period of intense ministry that left her debilitated. Why did this happen? She writes, "It wasn't a train wreck that devastated my life; it was the outcome of growing up in a dysfunctional family. I felt like crushed glass.
We Are Victors, Not Victims
Her relationships were affected. As an example, in one chapter she writes, "I had been plagued all my life by loneliness. Besides this she mentions other problems traced to her growing up years. Many who have endured childhood trauma, the loss of a loved one or deep emotional scars from broken relationships or abuse will be able to identify with Gayle and find much help here. Not only is it the story of her deliverance, it is also a rich source of biblical treasure that can be mined to find help in grief and despair. Throughout the book she scatters a profuse collection of the passages in the Bible that God used to minister to her.
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The main problem with the book is its jumpy, erratic nature. Instead of a smooth flowing consistent story, the book jumps from topic to topic. Not only that but the layout is confusing, filled as it is with so many verses, quotes, and blank semi-pages. I could have wished for one continuous story with references to Scripture in an addendum. However, in spite of its editorial flaws, I laud the message of the book and wish her well in her mission to give to fellow suffers a compendium of helps.
Oct 14, Jeanine rated it it was amazing. When I began this book it was in order to consider the author as a speaker at our Women's Prayer Retreat. But by the time I'd finished it, I knew in my heart that I definitely would like to hear her speak about her journey from Victim to Victor. The value of God's Word and through much personal prayer interspectively, meditatively, and the practcality of trusting God to not let her go was helpful beyond words to me.
To be able to allow the Light of God to shine through the broken pieces of her s When I began this book it was in order to consider the author as a speaker at our Women's Prayer Retreat. To be able to allow the Light of God to shine through the broken pieces of her soul took time but today she can freely share her journey with confidence and renewed hope in God's loving presence.
Nov 09, Sarah Walker rated it liked it. I think the author should maybe stick to writitng inspiration and stories and leave her poetry to herself.