I was going to buy a few nice things this weekend.. She always acts like she's right. When I try to explain what she's doing she gets very very defensive about it. She can never admit that she's wrong. She always acts like the victim. Whenever we fight, I always have to be the one to apologise because verythijg is always my fault.
She doesn't listen to me either. I will tell her something and it just flies right past her. But then sheblames it all on me. Like I can admit when I do something wrong. But she she won't. And I'm so sick of it. She likes to tell me I'm fat too. I'm tried to calmly sit down and talk to her about it. But she literally keeps laughing like everything's a joke and then walks away. She complains about how I'm ungrateful and don't help around the house.
It's because she drains my energy. Welcome to the forums! I find it a very nonjudgmental and caring community and I hope it's the same for you. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now! I'm so sorry to hear of the situation with your mother. I can't imagine how stressful it must be to live with someone like that.
The financial situation must put a lot of strain on you as well. On a more positive note, you've been running to lose weight which is great! Hopefully, that will be a boost to your self-esteem and make you feel better about yourself. I think taking time for yourself going out with friends is a great idea! It's good to hear that you've been taking steps to help yourself. Can you talk to any of your friends about what you're going through? Also, you didn't mention if you were seeing a psychologist etc; maybe it's something you would consider?
Being able to talk to someone about your problems can make a big difference. It's sad to hear that you don't think anyone will read your post. I just wanted to let you know that someone cares about you. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to, or just listen. I don't know if you'll see this, or even reply. If you don't, that's okay. I just really hope that everything works out for you.
Actually what I see reading your post is basically a very sensible person who has a pretty clear idea about how things work and is trying to deal with things in what sounds like a no-win situation. Perhaps that can change. I don't know enough to make sensible suggestions in that area. It would not surprise me if your mother has always said things to you that are put-downs, or evaded her responsibility.
In addition she may not really have any idea of consequences, with an impulse buy now being more important than groceries later. Growing up in that atmosphere is terribly bad for a child, and if they end up with low-self esteem and low self-confidence - shyness - it is to be expected. As Mia says, support from a friend or other family member can make a big difference, is there anyone like that in your life? If you have been suffering anxiety, the safe bubble sounds a bit that way, then perhaps seeing a GP -or Headspace for the under 25's - may well be something worth doing.
I have several problems including anxiety and bouts of depression and there was no way I could really have gotten better long term without outside help. You know, at this stage you have given a fair amount of detail about your relationship with your mother, but not that much else about your current life. How much family you have, if you are stuck at home or have other places you could live?
If you study or work, things like that. It's not being nosy and of course you only say exactly what you'd like. It can help with understanding your situation better though. Welcome to the forum. Glad you could get here and I hope we can help and support you. I was going to dye my hair pink last weekend, or at least have a pink streak through it but decided at the last minute that as I was going away for a few days it may not be such a good idea. I think I should have gone through with it.
I also think Croix should dye his hair purple as it would look terrific with his tusks. I am sorry you are having a bad time at home and I am wondering how to best help you. Like Croix I would like to ask you about your family. Is it just you and your mom, or are there others, a dad perhaps? Tell us about the things you feel comfortable saying. I hope you do go out and get your hair dyed purple. That would be great. I feel sad for your mom because she is obviously unhappy and that's why she buys 'stuff' to make herself feel good.
I think she realises this is not the best way to live but has got to the stage where it is very difficult to stop. This is not to say she is right in the way you are treated, it's definitely not right. This is grossly unfair to you but is her only way to cope. I've been thinking about this all last night and feel remiss in the answer I gave you on the other side, although it is true.
Let me explain those things you find so unfair if I can. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with having your ear pierced, however, your dad is much older than you and is already established in his job or career. His boss or bosses probably do not take offense at that earring but in some places you cannot even get a decent job if you wear one! He's looking out for your best interests on this and is smart enough to know you may regret this later on That's a whole different story.
You defied him by doing it anyway thereby insulting him and showing him his words mean nothing because you don't understand why! Your poor sister has gotten herself into a very bad situation and cannot seem to find her way out of it. But she's 22 and now, of age. Your parents can suggest things to her but no longer have that control.
They look at her and look at you Yes, they've made mistakes and it's almost always with the first born or last! Hence the I don't want you to make the same mistakes I did. It's not a cop out, it's very real to them. You are a very special boy when it comes to brain power and knowing that, they want you to have the very best. I don't blame them. You probably get your ass whooped because they know you, of all people, can do better Your Dad knows all to well about failure.
He does not want that for you and you don't want that for yourself. They are your parents and are trying to guide YOU and not themselves. If that makes them hypocrites then so be it. Don't you dare follow in their footsteps but one day, when you're older, you'll understand the difference between hypocrisy and guidance.
My mom died from cancer 11 months ago, and dad decided to marry a woman he was cheating my mom with since before she got cancer they got secretly married days after mom died. She has two children, a boy, and a girl. They are not even children anymore, the boy is 19, and the girl They both used to live with their father who divorced from the mother the same day my mom died , and their father was fairly strict with them.
They had to keep the house clean, and they had to be at home at Now, those spoiled assholes decided that they didn't want to follow those two simple commands, and they came to live with us.
my mom’s a hypocrite
They bring their stuff and put it where ever they want, eat our food, raise the bills, and hang out as much as they want. They do not cooperate in any of the chores. They are treated like the GODS of the house. And we the original 4 brothers have been forgotten by my father and that rotten bitch he now has as a wife. The original brothers of course. They are not raising the light bill, it is you. I'm sorry about her Parents want their children to learn from their mistakes, not make them again. Also, parents often worry when they see their kids following the same path. Maybe the earring was just that sign.
Unfortunately, when it comes to family, all bets are off. They cannot tell you not to hang out with your sister!
So what your saying is, because he failed in school, you should be allowed to fail as well? He wants you to succeed on the first try unlike himself! Conclusion, your parents are not hypocrites, they just want you to end up further ahead then them. Your parents just don't want you to do the same mistakes they did. Although I consider my own parent a hypocrite, communicating to family members about how you feel is one way to try and improve the situation.
My father tells me that I should be honest, but he's very proud of the fact that he lies and gets away with it. He loves to tell the story of how he got his job by lying about graduating from high school. He says that people should try and get along and be nice to each other, but he scares and yells at people. He corrects people on how to do things, but he will not accept criticism. My mother tells me that I should believe in myself, but she doesn't believe in herself. She tells me that I shouldn't date anyone older than I am, yet she is engaged to a dying man significantly older than herself and most likely for those reasons.
She says that she would do anything for me, but in reality she is unreliable and almost completely absent. It's extremely depressing to discover hypocrisy, especially in the people who are supposed to be your care-givers, role models and teachers. Sadly most parents are hypocritical. I prefer to err on the side of compassion toward my parents.
Are your parents hypocrites?
And perhaps my ability of discernment and judgment of the words and deeds of my parents are the consequences of my parents attempt to teach me of how to be unlike and better than themselves. I think that being honest is being compassionate. Whether or not your ability to evaluate words and actions stems from the parenting you've received, that does not make the label "hypocritical" any more or less true of your parents. We can all understand that walking what you talk is difficult, and we are all susceptible to being hypocritical ourselves, but the only way to rectify it is to recognize it first.
Some honesty is sometimes compassionate. And there are times when honesty is cruel for the sake of being cruel. There are times when honesty is nothing more than haughtiness. And there are times when honesty is a matter of admitting no one is perfect in all deeds and words. And thus, there are times when an act of honesty is contradictory to the word or deed of compassion.
I harbor no desire to declare the weaknesses of my parents and therefore indict them. Nor do I harbor any desire to tell the ambulant they are ambulant. Honest people know their weaknesses, and therefore honest people do not require the honesty of other's honest judgments. How can the truth ever be cruel?
Perhaps a person doesn't want to know the truth, but that doesn't make it cruel to tell them. It could be done in a bad way, but if it's truthful it's still helpful. Pointing out that the earth is round, even if someone wants to believe it's flat, is more kind than letting them continue believing a lie and saying nothing. Why don't you wish to declare the weakness of your parents? Are they aware of their weaknesses? I agree that stating some facts have no clear purpose, such as telling someone short that they are short. Does that make it cruel?
Some parents are dishonest, and there is no reason to hide the truth from someone dishonest. Honest people, as you say, should be aware of the truth- so how would it be cruel to tell them what they already know? The introduction of that question is a deliberate attempt to redirect the argument of the debate. We are not debating the attributes of truth. It is a red herring argument, Ignorantio elenchi. Returning to the original matter of the debate, I must express that I have vehemently opposed the deeds and words of my parents on many occasions. What I refuse to do is resort to name calling.
My ability to forcefully argue my views with my parents is sufficient for the purpose of disagreement. Rarely will I resort to name-calling to prove a point, and concerning my parents, I owe them the dignity and honor of nothing less than my best thoughts. Speaking of others, I will use an ad hominem against someone in an effort to curtail the verbosity of illustrating why such a person is an idiot; I call it: I believe I have satisfactorily established the compassion of my refusal to call my parents hypocrites.
Why do you owe your parents the dignity and honor of nothing less than your best thoughts? Do you think that all children owe their parents this? I am not trying to deviate from the original debate, I am just interested in hearing more on your viewpoints. Do you consider it name-calling to tell someone that they are a hypocrite if they have been hypocritical? I don't go around calling people hypocrites.
I think that pointing out to someone that they acted hypocritically in a situation, if they did, is a kind and just response. The subject of this "debate" is whether or not parents are hypocritical- it's not about if you have qualms with using the term. If you think that withholding the term is compassionate, in regards to your parents, then that is your belief. I think we are in agreement that applying negative terms to people is not beneficial.
I still hold the belief that pointing out hypocrisy, even with your own parents, is kind. If it is only the action of calling a parent a hypocrite that you take issue with, then we are not in disagreement. My parents relentlessly labored to make men of their sons and a woman of their daughter. And ergo, in an age of a childish culture, we, their children, live as mature adults.
Our parents relied not upon the mechanisms of the state to raise their children; they relied upon the principles of the consistent practice of doing that which is right. Their decisions and actions evidenced the uprightness of suffering whatsoever must be suffered in order to care and nurture for we, their children. They never punished us for doing that which is right. They never failed to punish us for doing that which is wrong.
They taught us how to discern between right and wrong, even when the distinction had been blurred by the society wherein we dwell. And thusly, our parents provided the foundations of a right mind from which we have grown into mature, rational adults. And now, as a parent myself, I recognize all of the difficulties associated with raising children within a society of an increasingly debauched culture. My sister, brother, and I are the adults which our parents intended to raise. We are adults of rational mind and sound judgments, and no man need tell us what we should or should not believe.
And all who would do such are no friends of our parents, us, or the truth. What is the value of a mother and father who can raise a boy into a man and a girl into a woman; specifically, when the man and woman are: For such can never be purchased! For those reasons and many more unmentioned reasons I am well pleased to demonstrate both dignity and honor toward my parents. Their strengths and achievements ought to be rewarded by respectful thoughts and honorable considerations by their children.
I will therefore be what I was raised to be: Do all children owe their parents such? All parents ought to receive the fruit of their labors. For there are parents who never were parents, meaning: I cannot do otherwise. I am not an atheist, I am a Christian of a sense by which only an extremely small number of people can identify. I dislike all churches that are recognized by the state. There are times within all societies when the hearts of the fathers and mothers are turned against their progeny; now is a time of such hate. I know this is an old debate but i did come here out of interest to comment a post in agreeance of parents being hypocrytical..
I really admire you,and your quite unique existence. Honesty, humility, and truth evidenced as key attributes of and by a young woman. If those key qualities continually abide in you, then you too are fully capable of mentoring. Yet, until that time arrives when you are comfortable with fulfilling your role as a mentor, I welcome you to learn all that you can from not only myself, but also all others who you judge as ministers of the TRUTH.
Any questions you would like to ask me will be answered. I ask only that you not burden yourself with linguistically perfect questions. May we both be rude simple in speech, but not in understanding. Alas, feel free to follow my conversations and arguments. It's been a long day, and I am very tired, but I wanted to weigh in on this. I'm looking for a support group or something, actually, but stumbled upon this site courtesy of Google.
I've read some of the arguments here, and I seem to be a minority: My egg and sperm donors I cannot call them "parents" never believed a word I said, starting when I was extremely young. Most of it centered around my health. I was accused of lying, being a hypochondriac, malingering, being an attention-seeker, then a drug-seeker, then of course a drug addict!
And because she was a "nurse", everyone believed her. And hey, I was a KID!
I was accused of horrid manipulations and excesses and incompetence. I was called names. I was always viewed as a "compulsive liar". At the age of 35, after going through all kinds of hellz, I finally found my answer; I was born with the congenital defects known as Arnold-Chiari malformation and syringomyelia -- fairly rare neurological brain and spine diseases.
My mother NEVER apologized for not believing me, for lying about me, or for verbally abusing me, and neither did anyone else. My father and I had managed to be fairly close for a while when I was a young adult, but my mother effectively killed that off. She also ruined a close friendship I thought I had with my kid sister. I am now supposed to be "cured", according to my mother, although no claims of "cures" were ever made regarding the surgeries.
There IS no cure. After my first brain surgery, I was sent home with dried blood and tape adhesive still in my hair sorry for the imagery , and called my mother to ask her to come over to my home and help me wash it out. She refused, stating that it was "too far" it is about 15 miles , and begging off because she was going to the church to help feed the homeless.
The following day, perhaps?
- The Fall of the Croesus Club (Sherlock Holmes in Silicon Valley)?
- 3 on a bed?
- Quality of Care for Oncologic Conditions and HIV: A Review of the Literature and Quality Indicators!
- other voices;
Again -- too far away. The muk eventually came out of my hair, no thanks to her. I am effectively non-existent to my "parents" -- my mother the RN and ordained Methodist minister, and my father the public school teacher who is a lay minister while studying to be an ordained Methodist minister.
They feed the homeless, they preach giving and loving and charity and being good to "the least of these" I am on disability, living with a friend or I'd be homeless myself , and barely making ends meet.
I have one pair of pants that fit me. And my pajamas which I am usually in anyway are wearing out and falling apart. Do my parents help me? Instead, my mother has cried "abuse" to my father she claims I verbally abuse her, which is absurd; when she doesn't know why something happens, she imagines why, and it's usually the worst-case scenario He never asked me about it.
He never talked to me. He never really knew me.
- Beyond Blue Support Service.
- La DEMYTHIFICATION (French Edition).
- Renegade Guns of Pomo Point (TA Buck Western Sagas Book 3).
Neither did my mother. But of course they are right, and I am the devil. But -- I got on Facebook using a game-name of mine, and read my mother's comments this week. She has posted on a sweepstakes page, stating why she needs to win, and says that she would give me a cut because "my disabled daughter has medical needs that medicare [sic] doesn't cover".
I was told I was "cut off"! This is way too long already for me to get into this in length, but let me assure you that the subject was brought up repeatedly. Over and over and over again -- I tried. When it seemed they might meet me halfway Let's just say that it didn't turn out as one would imagine from such esteemed parental units. Oh yes, these pillars of the community are so worthy of hero-worship which my mother craves, and has ever since I can remember. If people knew the truth, would they be looked up to in the same way?
I like to think not But oh yes, my parents ARE hypocrites. She'll tell me that i need to respect and be accepting of others which i do and to control my mouth which i do but its perfectly fine for her to go and be an absolute B to others for the meanest reasons. First off, we're african american. My mom can be so racist to others expecially those from poorer countries or immigrants. Unlike her and sometimes the rest of my family i actually like the cultural differences.
For example, recently they both said how, if people just stayed in their own countries America would be better and have less diseases and other problems. She also tends to disrespect us, her family in ways that make me so upset. Like at times when she insults me or things i do or say. For instance, she always says that i'm lazy, i never work hard , I never do anything but play on my laptop most of my schoolwork is digital but she doesn't believe me or READ WOW how terrible i read for FUN but everyday im busting my a-- off doing hw, going to high school and taking ap classes, getting a 3.
She tends to treat me, my sister, and brother like crap then acts like we're her princesses and prince. He often does what my mother tells him to do but he is always telling me never to let anyone boss me around. He also never wants to me to curse but somehow in every sentence he says there's at least one bad word. He's a lot like my mother also in that he wants me to respect others but somehow he shows a lack respect for people daily.
My mother is an absolute hypocrite.
My parents are both hypocrites. I love them but to me all their showing me is what not to teach my kids and how not to act. My parents are like the mother of all hypocrites. First of all they tell me to clean my room, and that I can't watch television because,my room isn't clean but I walk into their room and it looks a hot mess.
I think parents are hypocrites because they think they are adults now and they can do whatever they want to do. Also my parents say that I don't do anything but stare at my phone and watch TV but I do that because on a regular I am studying for tests, monitoring my grades, trying to find extra curricular activities and focusing on my school work and in between all of that I need to have a little time to my self and not being obsessed with school.
But my parents just don't get it. Like my parents,I do admit that they work very hard but they are always taking breaks from there work. My mother will complain about the house being a mess she is now unemployed and for a good reason not for discussion and when I arrive at the house after school or tennis or before I go into work and I have to clean the house up while she sits around and messes the house up.
She will ruin a nice and neat counter that I just finished cleaning, track in the house on the freshly clean floors, and what I HATE the most is when she lets the dog outside right after her dumb bath before she is even dry! My father loves his computer and during the weekend you better believe that he is on that computer doing who the hell knows what.
He works 3rd shift every week day and he takes the weekends off NO PROBLEM there it is when it is the weekend before or after I go to work and he will have been on the computer for a couple hours and when I am on it for about 1 hour and a half he gets antsy and tells me to find something else to do! My dad was a very big hypocrite he always used to say to me that porn is very bad and we should not look at it ever no matter what age we are but i caught him on a number of occasions watching it. But my mum is very good when she says something like don't look at porn she would never do it herself she is very good like that.
My mother is slowly becoming more and more of a "Christian" by the month, and quite frankly she's become the last person I would want to grow up to be. Although what I will say first does not concern her with being hypocritical, it will show how it leads up to my life with her now. During middle school, I had told her I was having a hard time She forced me through a middle-school christian church,saying it would "be good for me" to go. Now, it wasn't horrible, but most of the kids were not too nice, and I felt left out.
I begged her to stop after a group of them made fun of me, and she finally agreed, but of course not without complaining like a bitch and trying to get me to stay in. But no, I wouldn't have it anymore, I stood my ground and she finally listened to me. Now, I was out of it, and could actually have better focus on my homework than having to go to church during the weekdays. Now this is where she turns hypocritical It will corrupt you and ruin your life!
No sexual video games but for some reason super-violent video games are okay? Well, of course this all pissed me off because for 1: And she continues her rampage, trying to look "christian" infront of me while seemingly going off on her own when I'm not looking, or at least when she thinks I'm not My brother also told me he was watching Superbad with Mom while I was in the other room, even if it was only for about thirty minuets, it still proves her hypocrisy.
Heck, she wont even let me buy some t-shirts from stores now just because they look so-called "Demonic" Hot topic There's more things she's done, but I've already stated enough for now. So I've taken my life into my own hands, ignored her regulations. However I obey my father's, for he is a much more respectable man who actually treats me like I'm a 16 year old who can make my own damn decisions.
She says I can't watch something? I immediately go look for a way to watch it somewhere else, just to get back at her for ignoring me when I needed her the most. Do I do drugs? Have sex with random people? Try to punch or kill people? The answer to all of those is no, I never have, and never will.
I am a perfectly sane young man but of course that doesn't mean I don't enjoy sexy things, or thrilling action , while my mother is slowly warped into a world of her own, I can only watch as she becomes worse and worse, lost in delusional thoughts the propagandic christian media is filling her with.
Parents can be hypocrites at times. Main hypocrisy out of their mouth: As long as you toiled for it and put in the effort, I can't tell you how to spend it. I then proceed to make a small investment into something that they do not agree with for the sake of argument, let's assume I bought a video game for my brother.
I am then met with "as long as you live under my roof and under my rules you do what I tell to do with your money! He should be focusing on his studies and not games! Yes, considering that they advocate one thing and then throw it out the window when it no longer is convenient for them. Then, behind my back, he tells mom "Dammit, stop letting him on the computer! Yes, I believe parents can be hypocrites! For an example, Me and my mom are extremely close.
I mean, we talk about everything and I tell her everything. She's a friend and a mother at the same time. So, the other day I went into her room to get my clothes and her phone dropped on the floor..