Along the way, I hit all of the targets I had identified: I lost weight, I earned degrees, I made money, I did lots of therapy; I created a life for myself where everything looked the way it was supposed to, but I still struggled with fears and insecurity. I was in a constant battle with myself, where every time I had an uncomfortable feeling I jumped on myself for feeling that way and immediately set out to change that feeling.
List of Feeling Words
When we react negatively to our own negative emotions, treating them as enemies to be overcome, eliminated, and defeated, we get into trouble. Our reactions to unhappiness can transform what might just be a brief, passing sadness into a persistent dissatisfaction and overall unhappiness. Unfortunately, no matter how hard we try to avoid emotional pain, it follows us everywhere.
Difficult emotions, like shame, anger, loneliness, fear, despair, confusion, are a natural part of the human experience. However, we can learn how to deal with difficult emotions in a new, healthier way, by practicing acceptance of our emotions , embracing them fully as they are, moment to moment.
For me, this has meant creating space in my life for all of the parts of experience, the ups and the downs. Unfortunately, in Western culture very few of us have been given the tools to tolerate our own difficult feelings, or those of another person. Not only do we want to avoid feeling pain at all costs, we want to prevent the people we care about from feeling their own pain. Recently I found myself in a situation where I was confronted with a past loss, and although it has been two years since the loss, I found myself emotionally wrecked, as though it had just happened yesterday.
In my sadness, I reached out to a few friends for comfort and was surprised at how difficult it was for them to tolerate my difficult emotions. In an effort to help, they wanted to battle the sadness and told me things like I was sitting in self-pity and feeling sorry for myself; that I needed to practice more gratitude in that moment. In that moment, I simply needed to allow myself to feel sad. Again, our reactions to our difficult emotions can transform what may have been just a brief, passing sadness as was the case for me in this situation into persistent dissatisfaction and unhappiness two decades of my life.
- 2. Feel the feeling.
- 7 Ways To Make Bad Feelings Go Away.
- Why Letting Ourselves Feel Bad Is the Key to Feeling Better.
- Do You Wanna Get High Lyrics.
By learning to bear witness to our own pain and responding with kindness and understanding, rather than greeting difficult emotions by fighting hard against them, we open ourselves up to genuine healing and a new experience of living; this is self-compassion. But it is imperative that we embrace this idea if we are to truly live freely.
When we fight against emotional pain, we get trapped in it. Write down all your thoughts and feelings about whatever it is you are going through. I find that this works particularly well for anger.
Which is a better place for the anger to be than bugging me in my mind. Sometimes bad feelings are caused by a particular trigger — perhaps a certain person, perhaps a certain situation. And if a person or a situation is causing more bad feelings than good, it might be time to just say good-bye.
In some cases, this is as simple as making the decision that enough is enough. In other cases, it can be more complicated — say the person is a close relative or the situation is your job. But even in these more complicated situations, you can start making a long-term escape plan. When you just need to give your mind a break and you are too tired for any of the other tools on this list, a good book, movie, or TV show can be a savior.
Another way to get a break from bad feelings is to replace them with good ones. Do something that makes you feel good. Keep your mind occupied with something that excites you.
Do You Wanna Get High
It can be hard to think of good things when you are down in the dumps, so prepare by making a list when you are feeling better. This is where hobbies and passions come in. If your bad feelings are caused by a particular problem, making an action plan might alleviate your pain.
Look for potential solutions by brainstorming, doing research, or talking to someone. Pick a solution and make a plan for implementing it. It is when we stop our endless running, face our feelings and decide to do something about them that our healing begins. That great psychologist Carl Jung believed that all neurosis was an attempt to flee from legitimate suffering. When we feel bad, there is always a reason, always a cause, and if we want to feel better then we would be wise to uncover that cause and then do something about it.
1. Give it time
As a hypno-psychotherapist, I know that there are drug-free strategies that can take people to the cause of their disturbed emotions and actually do something about them and the distress they provoke. Even our most difficult emotions are there to help us. They are a call to action that we would be wise to heed. When we lose our fear of feelings and emotions; when we listen to and act on their message, then our emotions become much more balanced, and flow in a much easier, more comfortable way.
Peter Field is a UK registered psychotherapist and board certified hypnotherapist. His hypnotherapy Birmingham and London clinics provide hypno-psychotherapy services for a wide range of issues.