Guide Ruin: Awakening

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1-03 Joshua Morse - Remember (Awakening)

Choice for Ruin tear it down rebuild it leave it alone forget about it build on top of it move it to a museum clean it up use it for something else landscape it pave around it for a parking lot put in a service road forbid highway access fence it in erect a ticket booth write a guidebook for it sell reproductions and postcards permit guided tours make it a national monument seek designation as a World Heritage Site denounce it as a local eyesore mow the grass let it grow put in lighting put on sound-and-light shows sell ice cream install toilets add gift shop tear down contiguous structures employ guardians advertise on posters distribute brochures build interpretive center introduce telephones sell color film support scholarly research open tea house.

Click to email this to a friend Opens in new window Click to print Opens in new window Click to share on Facebook Opens in new window Click to share on Twitter Opens in new window. Are Urban Explorers Heritage Activists?: I was also a ballerina until at age 12 smoking cigarettes and talking to boys seemed like more fun than leotards and buns. My love of the arts is what kept me alive during the dark years.

I loved making and enjoying art more than I loved oblivion.

5 bad habits that can ruin your awakening!

So, not only am I passionate about making films and other creative endeavors, I owe art my life. Perhaps as much as I owe meditation my life. When I first started meditating there were a series of awakenings that rocked my world. I went from being one person to being a very different person in a matter of a few short years.

Will Awakening Ruin My Art?

One of the first things that changed was my driven attitude around my creative career. Until meditation, creativity was my one love. It always won out over my significant others even. I had one girlfriend who would just shake her head as I headed off to the theater on holidays, birthdays, and pretty much every day. I was slightly enmeshed with my creative life. So when I fell in love with meditation, it became a new love that tore me out of the arms of art. The drive to be a successful actor, filmmaker, or writer fell away like I was shedding my skin.

At first I was terrified. I felt like I was losing my best friend, my lover, and my guardian angel all at once. Not to mention losing the identity that I had painstakingly held together for so long. I was losing Me. But soon I saw that there was no Me to lose. The strands of thoughts and emotions that had created this sense of self were seen for what they were. Just some impermanent phenomena that I had mistaken for Me. Once this was realized it became easy to let go of my attachment to who I thought I had to be as an artist.

I saw that much of my outward creativity up until then had been fueled by a need to be seen and loved. Performing was something that my parents noticed and celebrated when I was young. I remember thinking that maybe if I were good enough talented enough, famous enough he would love me more than he loved alcohol. Incidentally he came to all of my plays when I was a teenager so drunk he could barely walk.

2. Checking your cellphone before getting out of bed

Later after the DUIs he always left right afterwards so he could get back home to his fridge full of beer. He was always proud, and he always let me know that. But I never became more important than drinking. All that to say, there were some deep reasons why I felt driven in my creative life.

My Wishlist

And those reasons fell away as my attachment to self dissolved. I let go of that whole life. I gave in to the death of that part of me. And I was happy for a while.

My Shopping Bag

Just meditating, teaching meditation, going on meditation retreats, listening to talks on meditation, meditating while eating, driving, and shaving my legs. I suffered less and less and my life was filled with a peaceful happiness. It also started to get a bit, well, boring. Then something really cool started to happen. I began to ache to perform and create.

I wanted something new and fresh and alive. This desire to make art was coming from something much greater than a tiny part of me that wanted approval and admiration. I was finally humble enough to learn thanks to all the meditation.

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I took writing classes and entered a three-year acting program that kicked my butt and turned me on to no end. I also helped produce a short film that went on to have a successful festival run and online release.